The Greatest Lie Satan Told Me- That I Believed

Satan's lie

Every morning, I wake up, go to the bathroom, and weigh myself. I never used to do this. I didn’t grow up in a house where weight mattered, rather the way I felt and what I was able to accomplish with my healthy body mattered. Up until I was weighed regularly at prenatal checkups, I couldn’t even tell you how much I weighed. Now I am a thirty-something mother of four, and somewhere along the way, I’ve learned to be concerned about the number on the scale. If that number is lower today than it was yesterday, I feel happy and I’m likely to have a better day. If that number is higher today than it was yesterday (gasp!), I’m sure to be upset.

Today that number was higher than it was yesterday. I can’t imagine why, because yesterday I had a protein smoothie for breakfast, a salad for lunch, and I skipped out on the homemade rolls for dinner. I even exercised and read a fitness blog article (that made me feel less than awesome about myself). I didn’t do any of that to feel better or to be healthy- not at all! I did it to be thin. And why? Because the world told me I need to be thin! Someone told me that the number on the scale mattered, someone made me think that my value as a person is directly correlated with my weight. Someone lied to me, and I believed them. That someone is Satan- the devil himself.

Satan has figured out a way to get to me. He has found several things he could use to distract me, and every lie he has fed to me, I have believed. I have listened to EVERY single word he’s planted in my head.

It’s not always about my weight. Sometimes it’s my value in being a homemaker- in keeping a clean house. I struggle with keeping up on the laundry and dishes, I’ll admit! At the end of the day, if I have a pile of laundry to be folded, or my sink is full of dishes, I feel like I’ve failed. Nevermind the hour I spent helping my daughter with a first grade art project. Nevermind the time I took to cook a delicious meal for my family (that I didn’t eat, because of my obsession with being thin). Nevermind the time I spent changing diapers, bathing kids, or brushing hair. Nevermind I’ve pretty much memorized every Dr Seuss book known to man, or that I can whip up a batch of cookies in under 30 minutes. Nevermind any of the things I do good during the day. If I haven’t done absolutely perfect in every aspect of my life, If my house isn’t just as clean- or cleaner- than the neighbor’s, I might as well not even try.

It only takes one thing. One simple thought, planted by Satan, to lead me down to the pit of despair.

Today I have failed. I am fat. And because of that, I just know that my husband doesn’t find me attractive. And if my husband doesn’t love me, then my kids probably feel the same. I’m sure they are embarrassed that I am their mother. What kind of mom can I be if my kids are embarrassed by me? Surely I can’t be a good mother. And if I can’t be a good mother, then what else matters? I don’t have a “real” job. Who cares if I can vacuum like a ninja, if I don’t have any other accomplishments to show for my life. Every day I feel like I’m getting dumber and dumber- I can’t even help my 3rd grader with his math, because it’s too hard for me. I can’t even carry on a good conversation with adults anymore, because I’ve spent the last 10 years with toddlers! If I had a sense of humor at one time, it’s gone. I’m stuck at home with a 4 year old who thinks potty jokes are the all-time culmination of everything hilarious in the world. I’m not as good of a cook as my friend, I’m not as compassionate as my neighbor, I’m not as loving and patient as my mom was. I will never measure up. I have failed. I am not enough.

On those days, when Satan has gotten to me. When I believe the greatest lie Satan told me, I read this quote from Sheri Dew:

satan's lie

How many of Satan’s lies am I going to believe? How often will I let my value as a wife, a mother, and a human being be determined by the lies Satan whispers in my ear? Not another minute! I have learned, since I was just 3 years old, sitting in Sunbeam class the most amazing truths. I know who I am! I know God’s plan! I’ll follow Him in faith!

I KNOW WHO I AM!!! I am a child of the most amazing, almighty being in the Universe. I am a child of God. I am here on this Earth to become better. To become more like HIM! Of course I’m not perfect! I will never be a size 2. I will never get to the end of the laundry. I will be late to pick up my kids from school, I’ll forget it’s my day to bring treats, and I will never feel like I’ve mastered the role of motherhood. But I will never stop trying to become more like Him. There is nothing, not even the lies Satan tries to feed me, that can stop me.

Satan's lie

 

Thank you for reading Latter-Day Women. If you liked this post, you might like some of these others I’ve written:

God Cares About the Small Things Too

The Greates Lie Satan Told Me that I Believed

5 articles every mom should read

Am I doing this Mom thing right?

The one thing I changed that made me a better wife and mom

Proud to be “Just a Mom”

On Being the Mom

10 tips for a tear free dentist visit

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